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People are like places. Sometimes we find them. Sometimes they find us. The real ones &mdash; despite time, distance, or detours &mdash; remain a safe harbor to return to. Actors Dolly de Leon and Meryll Soriano may drift, but they remain tethered. 
Theirs is a bond that respects boundaries but knows how to dance close to the edge. From navigating alcoholism to healing from addiction, they&rsquo;ve found in each other a lighthouse &mdash; an enduring connection that never loses sight. 
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PHOTOGRAPHY Czar Kristoff J.P.&nbsp;

<h3>ANCHORED BY ACTING</h3>
 Their roads often crossed, but never quite converged.&nbsp;
Dolly de Leon and Meryll Soriano first met through The Vagina Monologues in the early 2000s. Dolly played the admired vagina; Meryll, the angry one. Like their roles, they too were admired &mdash; and angry.
 Dolly was a &ldquo;theater rockstar&rdquo; who felt invisible beyond her scene. Meryll, a &ldquo;showbiz royal,&rdquo; was out to prove herself on unfamiliar ground. Both were deep in their partying days &mdash; riding the highs of vice and diving headfirst into the trenches of their chosen craft: acting.
 Meryll recalls how she was treated like royalty while theater veterans were addressed only by their character names. Despite the imbalance, what bound them was a shared reverence for excellence.
&ldquo;You were kind and respectful,&rdquo; Dolly tells her. &ldquo;And you joined a play &mdash; which means you respected the craft. For us, sharing the stage with an established actress was a big deal. Of course, we didn&rsquo;t tell you. Baka lumaki ang ulo mo.&rdquo;
 For Meryll, it played out differently. &ldquo;I felt privileged to be mentored by rockstars. As the eldest, bihira ako magsabi ng Ate sa mga tao. So when I say I consider Ate Dolly a big sister, I mean it. I feel safe with Ate Dolly.&rdquo;
 That dynamic extended beyond the stage.
 &ldquo;We wanted to protect Meme,&rdquo; Dolly shares. &ldquo;I was a party girl, and she was reforming herself from addiction. Our timing never quite matched. We never used together &mdash; our highs didn&rsquo;t overlap. Baby &lsquo;yong tingin ko sa kanya. Iba &lsquo;yong mundo namin. But nothing ever changes when we see each other. I even remember she lent me a copy of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey.&rdquo;
 For those unfamiliar, A Million Little Pieces is a blistering memoir about addiction and recovery &mdash; subjects both Dolly and Meryll know intimately.
 At the time of the shoot, Dolly is 62 days sober. Meryll, meanwhile, continues to live with bipolar disorder and remains in recovery from addiction &mdash; not because she&rsquo;s actively using, but because, as her coach once told her, there&rsquo;s no such thing as a &ldquo;recovered addict.&rdquo; Recovery, she&rsquo;s learned, is never in the past tense. Triggers are relentless flirts. They wait, they bait, and they strike &mdash; again and again.

Top and Skirt, both CECILIE BAHNSEN

<h3>ALCOHOL AND ADDICTION</h3>
 In 2019, they briefly worked together on the fantasy series Starla, three years before Dolly gained international acclaim for her role as Abigail in Triangle of Sadness, which won the Palme d&rsquo;Or, the highest honor at the 2022 Cannes Film Festival.&nbsp;
That moment marked a turning point: Dolly emerged as a breakout figure in global cinema, while Meryll solidified her standing as an indie muse, championing the work of Filipino auteurs like Whammy Alcazaren (Fisting: Never Tear Us Apart) and Sonny Calvento (Primetime Mother).&nbsp;
Dolly and Meryll are hopeful they&rsquo;ll share the screen again soon. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s a journey. We have different paths, but it feels like we have the same idea of our destination,&rdquo; Meryll says with a grin. To her, their bond has a Thelma &amp; Louise energy &mdash; two women on parallel tracks, occasionally crashing into each other, always moving forward as sisters in survival.
 Survival is the operative word. Because as much as Dolly and Meryll are navigating a cutthroat industry, they&rsquo;re also regulating their nervous systems and protecting an interiority long vulnerable to depression and substance dependence. It&rsquo;s a truth they cracked open in Meryll&rsquo;s YouTube series about mental health, Invisible War.
 Still, they&rsquo;re amused by the shape their closeness takes. &ldquo;Parehas kasi siguro tayong baliw?&rdquo; Dolly laughs, hinting at a half-truth.

Shirt, MM6 MAISON MARGIELA | Skirt, MELITTA BAUMEISTER | Stool, wareco

<h3>DRINKING WITH DOLLY</h3>
 &ldquo;It&rsquo;s hard to fight the temptation to drink, lalo na &lsquo;pag naaamoy ko,&rdquo; Dolly shares. &ldquo;Ako kasi, I don&rsquo;t just drink to get drunk. I drink because I love the taste of alcohol. I love everything.&rdquo;
 It started in her youth, with a deep infatuation for beer. &ldquo;Of course, &lsquo;pag bata ka, wala kang pera. Mura lang ang beer. I love the taste of beer. Cold beer sa beach? Oh my god. Ang sarap-sarap. Tapos &lsquo;pag may tama ka na, tatalon ka sa tubig habang mainit ang panahon.&rdquo;
 Eventually, she moved on to gin &mdash; her favorites are Hendrick&rsquo;s or Nord&eacute;s &mdash; after realizing beer was the usual culprit for unwanted love handles.
 Bodily and spiritually, Dolly was hooked.
 &ldquo;I have a very special relationship with alcohol,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;It started occasionally, then became recreational. Then it turned into a really bad habit, to the point that I would drink alone in my apartment. I&rsquo;d set the mood: turn on the dim lights, play loud music, then pour myself whiskey.&rdquo;
 I ask, &ldquo;Was it ever an issue for your friends who didn&rsquo;t drink?&rdquo;
 Dolly corrects me instantly. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have a friend who doesn&rsquo;t want to drink. If we&rsquo;re together, I&rsquo;ll convince you to take at least one shot. The question now is &mdash; how do I survive with all my friends who still drink?&rdquo;
 Her current goal is to reach 90 days of sobriety. How will she celebrate the milestone? By drinking &mdash; of course &mdash; if and only if she feels the urge. But even she thinks that&rsquo;s unlikely.
 &ldquo;Marami kaming pinagdaanan ng alak until it affected my well-being,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;Alcohol is a depressant. I&rsquo;m clinically depressive, so it doesn&rsquo;t help me. It&rsquo;s recreational and &lsquo;therapeutic,&rsquo; but it&rsquo;s not therapeutic.&rdquo;
 &ldquo;What made you want to change now?&rdquo; I ask.
&ldquo;It&rsquo;s a long story.&rdquo;
 But she offers one wake-up call:
 &ldquo;During the premiere of Nine Perfect Strangers in LA, uminom ako nang bonggang-bongga.&rdquo; As with many Hollywood events, the parties were extravagant. Dolly crossed the line. The drinking didn&rsquo;t stop at the event &mdash; it spilled into her hotel room. For the next two days, she was vomiting. The hangover cast a mental fog that lingered all the way through her flight back home.
 &ldquo;I realized, kalokohan &lsquo;to. What am I doing?&rdquo;
 Then she tells me, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m an ugly drunk. I don&rsquo;t know how to drink in moderation. Once I start, I don&rsquo;t stop. I get really crazy. Nagwawala ako in a happy way. Sasayaw ako. Wala akong paki. Senti ako. I&rsquo;ll tell you, &lsquo;I love you.&rsquo; But the next day, I won&rsquo;t remember anything.&rdquo;
 Now, that&rsquo;s something she appreciates about sobriety.

&ldquo;I have more memories of good times,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I can be fun too when I&rsquo;m sober. I like watching people get drunk.&rdquo;&nbsp;
&ldquo;Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?&rdquo;
 &ldquo;I referred to myself as an alcoholic in my 20s and 30s, but I&rsquo;m not an alcoholic because I don&rsquo;t need it every day, and I never drank on the job. I just made it my crutch.&rdquo;
 Armed with clarity and self-awareness, Dolly now gets to be the observer instead of the performer &mdash; at least, when she&rsquo;s not working.

I'm a control freak. I want things done my way.

Top and Skirt, both CECILIE BAHNSEN | Shoes, JUANITA STUDIO

<h3>MERYLL GOES MENTAL</h3>
 &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t like the taste of alcohol,&rdquo; Meryll tells me.
 Drugs, on the other hand, are fast-acting and addictive.&nbsp;
True to form, Meryll puts her talent to work, entertaining the team with impromptu skits of how different highs register on the face. She performs them to Deep Blue Day by Brian Eno &mdash; the haunting track that scored Mark Renton&rsquo;s literal plunge into the toilet bowl of addiction in Trainspotting.
 With her inhibitions checked at the door, Meryll frames the scene.
 Weed softens the face: lids low, gaze loose. Molly lights the eyes from behind &mdash; like sparklers at dusk &mdash; tender, desire-laced, unguarded. Ketamine silences ego, cocooning you in a dissociative trance; the face absolves all vanity. Cocaine enhances the angles, sharpens the gaze, and shoots up the confidence. It glosses the face in something bright and brittle. Heroin anoints you with something close to the divine. You&rsquo;re here &mdash; and you're gone. Nubain &mdash; Meryll&rsquo;s old poison &mdash; doesn&rsquo;t crown you; it clouds you. It sedates you into a Sleeping Beauty, but blunts everything else.
 Then comes the crash.
 Unlike Dolly, who treated alcohol like an affair to remember, Meryll got swept up in a false religion. The pleasure of opioids was god-tier. So was the pain of withdrawal.
 &ldquo;After I got hooked on cocaine, I did intravenous drugs. Part of the allure was the scene,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I loved watching myself in the mirror, from the moment of injection to the moment of elation. Pinapanood ko &lsquo;yong transformation hanggang may tama na ako.&rdquo;
 Unfortunately, it didn&rsquo;t just hit her bloodstream; it bled into her work.
 &ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t want to do drugs at work because it didn&rsquo;t help my performance. I was just feeding my addiction. But if I don&rsquo;t shoot my dose, I&rsquo;ll itch.&rdquo;
 I ask her the same prompt I had with Dolly, &ldquo;What made you want to change?&rdquo;
 Aside from her son, Eli, Meryll&rsquo;s upbringing dragged her out of rock bottom. She says, &ldquo;Nine years old ako nag-start mag-work. Hindi lang ako &lsquo;yong artista sa family. May Maricel Soriano na nakita ko &lsquo;yong buhay as an actor. Nakita ko kung paano niya mahalin &lsquo;yong craft. Lumaki akong mulat. I was guided.&rdquo;
Turns out, opioids were heaven in hell, but acting was her whole world. &ldquo;I love acting. I love it so much. I love seeing new scripts...Therapy talaga siya para sa akin.&rdquo;
 Not only did she quit, she pursued creative highs. When Meryll enrolled at Central Saint Martins to study product design, the genius of McQueen, Margiela, and Westwood kept her wide-eyed.
 Living may be easy with eyes closed, but Meryll chose to stay awake.

Shirt, MM6 MAISON MARGIELA

I will no longer take no for an answer. I will do it no matter what.&nbsp;

Top, RAJOMAN

<h3>FEED THYSELF</h3>
 In between mouthfuls of spam gochujang, Dolly says, &ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t know you auditioned for Triangle of Sadness.&rdquo;
 &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; Meryll affirms. &ldquo;You&rsquo;re my inspiration, Ate Dolly. Remember what Michelle Yeoh said? &lsquo;Ladies, don&rsquo;t let anybody tell you you&rsquo;re ever past your prime.&rsquo; That was empowering to me. I learned that if it doesn&rsquo;t work your way, you have to pave your own. You have no choice.&rdquo;
 But what even is &ldquo;prime,&rdquo; when both have already lived so many lives? At this point, career success feels less like a pinnacle and more like a postscript &mdash; just another form of validation, following the one they&rsquo;ve already given themselves.
 &ldquo;If I stop acting, masisiraan ako ng bait,&rdquo; Dolly says. &ldquo;I had other sources of income. I was an acting and diction coach. I did organizational development. I taught corporations. I sold insurance and real estate. I proctored nursing examinations. I became a party manager. But I knew that if I let go of acting, I&rsquo;d go crazy.&rdquo;
 Meryll, meanwhile, has pivoted more times than she can count. As a teenager, she considered becoming a professional volleyball player &mdash; or flying to New York for fashion school. A family intervention quickly followed. Why study when you&rsquo;re already an actor? She tried again in her twenties, undeterred. But even then, she remembers: &ldquo;Up to the last minute, my dad was trying to convince me I didn&rsquo;t need to go to school.&rdquo;
 Ironically, every time she committed to something outside acting, the work she wanted seemed to follow. &ldquo;I was crying in a library in London because I couldn&rsquo;t do a project I wanted to do &mdash; I just enrolled.&rdquo; In 2015, she was accepted into a design internship in Switzerland but had to defer.
 Then came the realization: &ldquo;I committed to becoming a full-time actor. I have to love this. This has been a long-term calling. It was really for me, because it felt like the most natural thing. I woke up and realized that the set is the happiest place for me. It took a long journey to get there.&rdquo;
 Through it all, acting outlasted their attachments and addictions &mdash; not because they&rsquo;re feeding the industry&rsquo;s hype machine, but because they prioritized feeding their souls.

Top and Pants, CARL JAN CRUZ

<h3>THE HIGHS OF CINEMA</h3>
 Though Dolly and Meryll aren&rsquo;t in it for the accolades, acting has brought them undeniable highs. Dolly will never forget the night Triangle of Sadness premiered at Cannes.
 &ldquo;I knew it would be successful &mdash; the script was brilliant &mdash; but I didn&rsquo;t expect it to be that huge. Nagulat ako. I was so overwhelmed at the afterparty. People were congratulating me left and right. I just wanted to go back to the hotel, so I left.&rdquo;
 But walking back proved difficult. &ldquo;I was in heels, and on cobblestone at that. I had to sit down to rest. Then my phone started blowing up. A friend sent me a link &mdash; it was a glowing review by Guy Lodge, a big film critic. That moment was wild.&rdquo;
 Meryll had her own pinch-me moment at the 10th Marrakech International Film Festival, where she accompanied director Mark Meily to present Donor &mdash; the film that won her Best Actress at Cinemalaya.
 &ldquo;Nagpa-picture talaga ako kay Maggie Cheung, at hinarang talaga ako,&rdquo; Meryll laughs. The program paid tribute to French cinema, and she was ecstatic to share space with legends like Agn&egrave;s Varda, Sophie Marceau, and Marion Cotillard.
 Hearing their stories, I ask a controversial question: How different is the international scene from the local one?
 Dolly doesn&rsquo;t flinch. &ldquo;Take what you can from this. There are a million differences. There are also a million similarities. But it all boils down to the core. The big difference is the foundation. They value the rights of workers.&rdquo;
 Dolly and Meryll aren&rsquo;t naive. They know highs come with lows. Experience taught them that the things they love can also hurt them. That&rsquo;s why self-care isn&rsquo;t optional &mdash; it&rsquo;s essential.
 When overwhelmed, Meryll heads to the beach. &ldquo;When I step on the sand and see the horizon, I return to myself &mdash; my baseline. The ocean does that to me.&rdquo;
 Dolly&rsquo;s most recent emotional crash required more than just sea and sun.
 &ldquo;I had to say goodbye to my character, Abigail. I felt she stayed with me. I couldn&rsquo;t let her go. It was a core memory. When I got home, I cried and cried. Why is it finished? I want to do this all the time. I went through depression. It was hard to work on other projects.&rdquo;
 She sought help from acting coach and intimacy coordinator Missy Maramara, who gave her a grounding exercise: visualize her character standing in front of you. Thank her. Yakapin mo siya. It&rsquo;s not goodbye &mdash; it&rsquo;s see you later. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s a very emotional exercise,&rdquo; Dolly says. &ldquo;Every time I do it, I cry. It helps me purge the role from my system.&rdquo;
 From portraying characters, they&rsquo;ve built character. For Dolly and Meryll, acting isn&rsquo;t just a high &mdash; it&rsquo;s the gravity that holds them in place.

Top and Pants, CARL JAN CRUZ | Shoes, PALENGKE

<h3>THE SHIP IN RELATIONSHIPS</h3>
 &ldquo;I want to be the captain of my own ship,&rdquo; Meryll says, recalling an epiphany at the Toronto International Film Festival. An agent had told her: &ldquo;If you want to do the projects you want, you have to be willing to produce them.&rdquo;
 It was a hard pill to swallow, but a potent one &mdash; one that fueled her foray into directing. After 34 years of acting, she still doesn&rsquo;t feel like she fully belongs. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not bankable enough to lead commercially,&rdquo; she admits. &ldquo;But I&rsquo;ve committed to only making films that are sensible.&rdquo; She&rsquo;s conceded to &ldquo;selling out&rdquo; for television, but when it comes to movies, she draws the line. It has to be her call.
 That same principle now guides her directorial debut.
 &ldquo;I will no longer take no for an answer. I will do it no matter what. It&rsquo;s long overdue. The story has been gestating for 15 years.&rdquo; She&rsquo;s not chasing a blockbuster. She&rsquo;s crafting something deeply personal &mdash; a film about women going through postpartum psychosis.
 While Meryll embraces a new challenge, Dolly is quick to shut down any desire to direct.
 &ldquo;Ayoko mag-direct. Magiging bakulaw ako,&rdquo; she laughs. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m a control freak. I want things done my way. And when it doesn&rsquo;t work, you&rsquo;ll see the bakulaw. Or the bruha. I don&rsquo;t like that side of me.&rdquo;
 Thankfully, it won&rsquo;t be making an appearance anytime soon. She&rsquo;s headed abroad to film Avatar: The Last Airbender, where she&rsquo;ll play the twins Lo and Li in the Netflix adaptation.
 Dolly flies out next month and will be filming through the end of the year. Meryll, meanwhile, remains hyper-focused on fulfilling her long-held vision &mdash; hoping to release her debut film in 2026.
 Who knows when they&rsquo;ll cross paths again?
 Before they part, I ask them both: How would you describe your relationship?
 &ldquo;I trust her with my life,&rdquo; Dolly says. &ldquo;I can tell her anything, and it will remain sacred. It&rsquo;s so funny &mdash; our backgrounds are so different, but our temperament, our humor, our philosophy about the creative process...parehong-pareho. We don&rsquo;t always see each other, but when we do &mdash; malalim. Parang walang nagbago.&rdquo;
 Meryll echoes her. &ldquo;Takbuhan ko si Ate Dolly. We are each other&rsquo;s safe space.&rdquo;
 Dolly and Meryll are proof that friendship, like any great love story, shifts and turns &mdash; diving from shallow to deep, surface to bottom, stillness to spirals. It may veer off-course or hit dead ends. But even in the roughest waters, each keeps the other afloat.

STORY AND CREATIVE DIRECTION Tin Dabbay PHOTOGRAPHY Czar Kristoff J.P.&nbsp; STYLING Frances Laman HAIR Raven Dizon&nbsp; MAKEUP Mayesa Delos Santos&nbsp; PHOTOGRAPHER&rsquo;S ASSISTANT Sandra Certeza&nbsp; SET DESIGN Chila Zialcita&nbsp; SET TEAM Anne Quioge, Allan Breis, Jun Mojica&nbsp; INTERN Johan Kyle

Dancing Close to the Edge: Dolly de Leon and Meryll Soriano

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